Immerse myself in amber with a little ice
then dreaming with open eyes
not you – I walk along the edge of your absence,
wonder of your look and touch,
a few skipped heart beats.
I dream of the heaviness in my stomach,
my eyes, saying that I love you
your hands which carried me like a child,
how light my steps were, the laughter
and how I was crazy crazy crazy,
how I drank your skin and breathed with your lips,
and how you loved me – not just like that –
you loved me as in the sweetest love novel,
you loved me with every cell in your body,
with your eyes, your hands, your words
you loved me to exhaustion –
until the last drop,
until the last word,
until you conquered every moment of my consciousness,
until you flowed in my veins instead of blood.
I miss you like a breath of air
I miss you now –
in the warmth of the most sorrowful sunset.
I miss you in the realization –
that I’m hopelessly in love
and tomorrow scares me –
the memories sink into time
like a drop of dew in the desert,
I can touch very tangibly
the empty space by my shoulder,
the missing breath of your lips
still burning my skin
and only you know who I am..
I miss you
not because I love you,
not because the sunrises won’t be yours,
not because I will never kiss you.
I miss you
because I’m afraid to once again
be cold, indifferent, and loveless,
and banality to waste my days.
I miss you ….
God, how I miss you …